.To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself
So because I am not in school this semester, it is like every single person I come across asks about it…and I have to try to explain myself, and every time it is like I am drowning in water and I am just gasping for air. People always judge, and I feel judged because I am not in school. But the other night at my staff christmas party I had a really refreshing conversation. It was with one of the co-founders of the non-profit I work for. He is barely part of the organization anymore because he is finishing school, but we had a convo that really reassured me. I hate where my life is at right now, but he is 31 yrs old, and still finishing his undergrad, and then he is going to go straight to his masters, and be done with school and have a masters done by 34. He said that looking back he thinks that not going to school right away, or taking his time was the right choice. Because with the economy, it is so shit, and though he struggled by, by the time he gets his masters, he will not only have that amazing degree, he will have already have 17 yrs of experience in the field. And to be honest, I feel like that will be me. I am so behind in school, and that is so fucking depressing, and at first this was the last thing I wanted .But as time goes by the more I realize how unrealistic finishing school like everyone else is for me. I don’t have the opportunity like everyone else to be care-free in college, to have support. I don’t have that. I work for everything I have, and yet everything still gets taken away from me with zero control. But talking to him the other night made me realize that though things have not gone at all how I planned, things could still work out.Things will work out….they have to, there is no other choice. I refuse to chose failure.
i can’t stop worrying that i’m going to end up a complete and utter failure at life